Normally, life around here slows down after Christmas, but not so this year. I've had the pleasure of helping to plan and to host a wedding shower, a baby shower, and a wedding, in that order. While these things tend to be a lot of work, they are also a time of games, laughter, and creativity. These events were no different. Several ladies came to together to shower two very special women with lots of love, advice, and gifts.
Last Saturday we celebrated the wedding of one of these young ladies, who happens to be the daughter of a dear friend, as well as my daughter's best friend. A great time was had by all, and the wedding itself was a beautiful affair. There was some serious dancing and fun at the reception; I personally witnessed smiles and laughter all around, and I very well might be accused of some hilarious dance moves. Just sayin'.
If you think about it, I got a front row seat to two major life events: a new life being born, and a new life being started together. What a great beginning to the year!
On the other end of the spectrum, I also quietly observed the 7 year anniversary of my Dad's death. My Dad and I had just recently reconciled after many years of not speaking to each other, which is fodder for another blog post, another time. We had relented, forgiven each other, talked about why things had gone so awry in the first place, and promised to work on our relationship. A new beginning. We made plans for him to visit in the coming months--I knew that he would love the mountains, and I was eager to show him some of our favorite places to camp. He had reached out, hoping to renew relationships between his children and himself. He had cancer and was dying. The thought of death causes a person to re-evaluate things, and I suspect that was Dad's motivation. Weeks later, he committed suicide. No note, no goodbye, no tangible reason. He was gone. My heart shattered into a million pieces. My only guess as to the why of the matter is that he was in a tremendous amount of pain and saw no end to it. I suppose there could be a myriad of reasons, but I don't dwell there.
What I do focus on is the tremendous gifts I was given: a second chance, and peace. I said what needed to be said to my Dad, I was able to forgive him, and took the opportunity to start over, to renew a relationship. For several weeks prior to our reunion, I could feel and knew the prompting of the Lord, telling me to call, to re-connect. I didn't want to at all. There was a lot of old wounds that would be opened. A lot of pain. I didn't need that back in my life. He wasn't welcome. Then slowly my heart was softened, and after much prayer and arguing with myself and God, I made the call. Oh, how glad I am that I did! Because now I have peace; not because of how Dad chose to end his life, but peace in knowing that all was forgiven on both sides, and that my Dad did love me, and that I will see him again some day, because he had become a believer in Christ. Peace. I can honestly say "It is well with my soul".
So, every year, I observe that dreadful day, but with a grateful heart. It is a special day, one of blessing, thanksgiving and quiet praise for the gift of peace that I have. It still hurts, and hurts badly, especially when I'm riding up in the mountains, because it always makes me think of how much he would have loved it up here.
It's been a busy winter so far. The promise of new birth and new life; the somber remembrance of a loved one, yet there is joy in the journey.
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| My husband, Gerald, and me at the wedding reception. |
